Demanding too much from friends

Claudia treated me to an awesome manicure and pedicure at the salon (part of bridal research). She's a gem. This research was to help my attendants with their mandate to "be radiant".

Evidently, some other brides have demanded extreme things from their attendants. Claudia told me of a bride who demanded botox for mothers of the bride and groom "so they won't look wrinkled", breast augmentations for the bridesmaids, and "little touches" for the groomsmen. Yuck!

Being an attendant has lots of expenses and pressures. You may be thinking: "What do I have to do? Where do I have to be? What kind of dress/suit should I wear? What about my hair? What about my makeup? There are gazillions of gifts, urgh! I don't want to make a toast. I don't want to be on display. I can't stand that long. I'm not up to this."

We want you to enjoy our wedding. If you still want to be a bridesmaid or groomsman, great. If, however, you would like to rethink your decision, that's fine. You can write, call, or email if it's just too much. We want you there in whatever capacity is most comfortable and enjoyable for you.

We love you, we don't want you to be stressed!

Invitation Assembly this Saturday

Some of you are free to help out with invitations this weekend. The following jobs are.

• addresser of envelopes
• sticking on return addresses
  
• sticking on addresses for the reply cards
• stuffing envelopes
• putting on stamps
  

I'll order out for Chinese food around noon. This is very tedious work. I appreciate anyone who agrees to help out.

Love and kisses

Suzanne

Emergency Pampering

Virtually all of my bridesmaids don't take enough time to pamper and care for themselves. Audrey's attack is the fruit of such neglect.

Ladies, it's up to us to support and care for one another. It's also our responsibility to lovingly dope-slap those who lose sight of self-care and self-nurturing.

Being made of this same mold, I'm making pampering the #1 priority of my wedding morning. I would like to treat all the bridal attendants to a massage and a manicure at a salon. They will provide a light lunch. If you'd like to have them do your hair into a fabulous up-do, please call and arrange that. I cannot afford this for you all, but they have very reasonable rates. The massages and manicures are my gift to you.

October 11 will go by so quickly, ladies. Let's take a few moments to enjoy some quiet comforts before the party.

I will be sending you letters after the invitations go out.

Mom's Dress

My mother recently asked me to wear her dress at my wedding. I was very touched by this and excited to see the dress, which had been stored away for several decades. Much to our horror, the pretty white dress was discolored like smoker's teeth!

I did a little research on the internet, and there is not much hope for the bodice. I filled my tub and dissolved some baking soda and borax and Woolite. I soaked the gown and a terrible smell of mildew came from the garment. The websites said that silk resists mold, so I'm thinking that this is the smell of petroleum by-products, the yellowing agents from the plastic that stored the dress for nearly 50 years!

After 3 tub-fulls, the water is running clear. I rinsed the dress both in pools in the tub and by hand in the shower. The dress now smells good, but is a yellowy white (on top), and close to the original white on the bottom.

Since the bodice is such a total loss, I'm experimenting on it with different solvents. I soaked a sleeve in a mild solution of "Clorox for delicates" detergent and water for 10 minutes and rinsed thoroughly. I need to wait for it to dry before judging the effectiveness of this treatment.

The lace has become white as snow! I'm so happy about that. I'm thinking of taking those bits and covering the bible I'm carrying. I will be saving the bible cover and our crowns in a shadow box, so that would be a nice keepsake.

There is a poll on the blog which asks your opinion on what I should do with the dress if it is not salvageable. Please post any other comments below.

NO HIDEOUS BRIDESMAID DRESSES!!!!!!

Dear Bridesmaids,

I will NEVER do this to you.

The tradition of bridal attendants dressing alike goes back to the 5^th Century in Britain. There was a superstition that demons would attack the bride and groom so the wedding party would all dress alike to fake them out. This seems spiritually short-sighted to me.

Yes, you will all be clothed identically. Yes, the devil won’t be able to tell the difference between you and me. Yes, you will have to buy new stuff to wear for this. Yes, you will probably consult with one another in the process. But, NO, you will not wear the same color or cut of dresses, nor will you wear the same earrings, shoes, hose, etc.

We will all be clothed in radiance!

If I were the only one who absolutely loved her gown and accessories, it would be very obvious that we were not all arrayed in the same joy. Therefore, I want you to find a dress that makes you feel more beautiful than anything you’ve ever worn. I want your shoes to be able to withstand lots of standing in the church and lots of dancing in the reception. I want you to shop for your heart’s desire. If you’ve always wanted someone to make a dress for you, go right ahead. If you’ve always wanted expensive shoes, be my guest. If you’ve already got a great dress, but need foundation garments to make it pop, have at it. If you want to borrow a froofy bridesmaid’s gown and splurge on a massage and a manicure/pedicure, well ok! Take care of yourself and pamper yourself as you very rarely give yourself permission to do.

Most of you are married and, by the grace of God, your husbands are still alive. I want him to see you in your dress and smile the way he did on your wedding day. Your wedding day passed so quickly. Now is your chance to shine with that light again.

For those of you who are single, shine and sparkle, you are married to Christ and you’ll get to spend lots of time gazing at one another in the church. You will dance and laugh and be your glowing self.

Because this is an Orthodox wedding, I do have a few guidelines for your dress. Please do not wear black or grey as the main color. Please have your skirt go below or about the knee. Try to have your shoulders covered, but I understand if you can’t. Try to have something on your head, again this isn’t firm, it’s just tradition. For the sake of pictures, try steer clear of busy prints.

I can’t believe I’m writing this letter. I honestly didn’t believe I’d ever be a bride. Tyrone is such a blessing. Thank you for being so willing to celebrate that blessing with me. It means more to me than you know. You are also a magnificent blessing to me. I thank God for you every day.

Love

Suzanne

Let's Get Started

Hello Everyone, It's Suzanne,

I just got off the phone with Maria and I realized that I need to set up this blog to keep everyone informed about the wedding plans. Here is how things stand so far.

• We've hired Jean's Catering to do our wedding. They are not wedding consultants, they are vendors. This system tells us what we're spending up-front and takes the worry out of the day. It also takes loads of pressure off those we love. Check it out.
  
• We are currently designing the invitations. If you would like to help assemble the invitations with us in early August, please respond with a comment.
  
• I need to decide which dress to wear. My mother recently offered her very beautiful dress, but I had already bought one and was working to find material for sleeves. Tyrone doesn't want to see the dress before the wedding, so I can't post pictures here. I'll email you a picture if you like. Let me know.
• I would like to take my bridesmaids out for some pampering in lieu of a wrapped gift. If you would like to stop by Worcester and have a massage or other pampering as part of my research, please let me know. It's hard work, but somebody's got to do it.
  

We would appreciate any words of wisdom as we embark on our life together. Handy tips about planning the wedding wouldn't go amiss either.