Saturday, July 19, 2008


Dear Bridesmaids,

I will NEVER do this to you.

The tradition of bridal attendants dressing alike goes back to the 5th Century in Britain. There was a superstition that demons would attack the bride and groom so the wedding party would all dress alike to fake them out. This seems spiritually short-sighted to me.

Yes, you will all be clothed identically. Yes, the devil won’t be able to tell the difference between you and me. Yes, you will have to buy new stuff to wear for this. Yes, you will probably consult with one another in the process. But, NO, you will not wear the same color or cut of dresses, nor will you wear the same earrings, shoes, hose, etc.

We will all be clothed in radiance!

If I were the only one who absolutely loved her gown and accessories, it would be very obvious that we were not all arrayed in the same joy. Therefore, I want you to find a dress that makes you feel more beautiful than anything you’ve ever worn. I want your shoes to be able to withstand lots of standing in the church and lots of dancing in the reception. I want you to shop for your heart’s desire. If you’ve always wanted someone to make a dress for you, go right ahead. If you’ve always wanted expensive shoes, be my guest. If you’ve already got a great dress, but need foundation garments to make it pop, have at it. If you want to borrow a froofy bridesmaid’s gown and splurge on a massage and a manicure/pedicure, well ok! Take care of yourself and pamper yourself as you very rarely give yourself permission to do.

Most of you are married and, by the grace of God, your husbands are still alive. I want him to see you in your dress and smile the way he did on your wedding day. Your wedding day passed so quickly. Now is your chance to shine with that light again.

For those of you who are single, shine and sparkle, you are married to Christ and you’ll get to spend lots of time gazing at one another in the church. You will dance and laugh and be your glowing self.

Because this is an Orthodox wedding, I do have a few guidelines for your dress. Please do not wear black or grey as the main color. Please have your skirt go below or about the knee. Try to have your shoulders covered, but I understand if you can’t. Try to have something on your head, again this isn’t firm, it’s just tradition. For the sake of pictures, try steer clear of busy prints.

I can’t believe I’m writing this letter. I honestly didn’t believe I’d ever be a bride. Tyrone is such a blessing. Thank you for being so willing to celebrate that blessing with me. It means more to me than you know. You are also a magnificent blessing to me. I thank God for you every day.




sarjengracemom said...

So what sort of dresses is everyone thinking about? I have only been in one wedding before and it was a long time ago!

I am looking forward to getting to see old friends and meet some new ones :-)

Suzanne G. and Tyrone G. said...

Hi Margaret,

I wish more of the crew were commenting. So far, I'm just registering anxiety and panic instead of formed ideas of what they want to wear. Any ideas on how to help them out, or should I shut up and concentrate on Tyrone?

sarjengracemom said...

Just relax and enjoy this time! It will be over before you know it and it will never happen again. Make sure to continue to date and appreciate each other. DO NOT let the details of this one day overcome the joy of all the days that will follow. The day will be just as God intends it to be. Put it all in His hands - the day, your marriage, your family.

I am soooooo happy for you!!!!

dak2274 said...

Hi Suzanne,
Me and Cidalia just found dresses online (David's Bridal). They are at or below the knees with shoulders covered. YESSSSS. We chose a fall orange (not bright orange). I hope you know what I mean. :-) All we need to do is go and try them on. WE ARE SO ON TOP OF THIS. HA HA
Talk to you soon, Dorinda

sarjengracemom said...


Do you have a picture of the dresses you found? I would love to see what others are wearing to help me figure out what to wear.